[Mickey]0828 故事接龍

上課日期:8/28

題目:

時間是敘述文中的基本要素,請依照合理的故事發展判斷句先後順續。

  1. One player threw a football, and it bounced once on the ground and then hit Jim on the head, waking him up.
  2. One day, Mike returned from class and found Jim sleeping on one of the couches in the student lounge.
  3. He sat up , rubbed his eyes, and suddenly looked startled.
  4. Picking up the couch while Jim was still sleeping on it, the four boys slowly carried the couch out of the dormitory and onto the campus athletic field.
  5. “Where in the world am I? “he yelled, and the boys watching him rolled on the ground with laughter.
  6. They gently put the couch down on the side of the field while Jim was still snoring away.
  7. “Let’s play a prank on Jim! " whispered Mike to a few other boys nearby.

排序:

2 → _____→ _____→ _____→ _____→ _____→ 5

排完順序後,請將這個故事寫的更完整,包括情節和人物,例如Mick和Jim是什麼腳色? 你也可以外加細節或背景描述都可以。請依此寫成這周的作文。


原文(批改1):

There was a boy called Jim, who always stayed up late playing video games. Because of this bad habit, he often slept/nodded off/ in class. What’s more surprising, he could fall asleep almost anywhere. One day, Jim’s friend, Mike, returned from class and found Jim was sleeping on a couch in the student lounge.

 “Let’s play a prank on Jim!” whispered Mike to some other boys nearby. They quietly went into the lounge, slowly picking up the coach while Jim was still sleeping on it. The four boys carried the coach out of the dormitory and onto the campus athletic field. Jim was sound asleep that he didn’t feel anything wrong at all. Mike threw a football(how did Mike get the football? Or why is a football? ), and it bounced once on the ground and hit Jim on the head, waking him up(這裡的文法是甚麼呢?).

 Jim sat up, rubbed his eyes, and suddenly looked startled. “Where in the world am I ? Am I in the paradise?” he yelled, and the other boys watching him rolled on the ground with laughter.


comment:

  1. 注意寫故事的時態,當你的口吻是"說故事的人",用過去簡單式較合宜,介紹人物時也用過去式,像是Mike was…
  2.  故事細節的連貫性和邏輯性是寫故事需要注意的
  3. 可以試著為你的故事下標題

sample essay:

During Mike’s freshman year in junior high school, he lived in a dormitory. After living with his roommate, Jim, for a few weeks, he learned that Jim was a very heavy sleeper. Once Jim fell asleep, it was very difficult to wake him up.

One day, Mike returned from class and found Jim sleeping on one of the couches in the student lounge. “Let’s play a prank on Jim!" whispered Mike to a few other boys nearby. Picking up the couch while Jim was still sleeping on it, the other four boys slowly carried the couch out of the dormitory and onto the campus athletic field.

They gently put the couch down on the side of the field while Jim was still snoring away. The football team was practicing, and a few players giggled when they saw what Mike and his friend had done. One player threw a football, and it bounced once on the ground and then hit Jim on the head, waking him up. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and looked startled. “Where in the world am I?" he yelled, and the boys watching him rolled on the ground with laughter.

附件(attachment)需列印↓

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20160828

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